Attachment Wounds

As human beings, we have two fundamental needs: attachment and authenticity. As babies, we need to form attachments to our adult caregivers in order to survive. We also have a fundamental need to be seen as our authentic selves.

All too often, we forgo our authenticity in order to preserve our attachment relationships. This process, while often unconscious, is deeply painful.

Examples of attachment wounds involve growing up in a household where one or both parents were abusive or neglectful. Parental abandonment, such as adoption, incarceration, or death. Sometimes, a parent is present, but not really present. This is often the case when a parent uses substances, struggles with their own mental health, or was too preoccupied with work to appropriately tend to your attachment needs.

When a parent is absent or emotionally unavailable, a child may internalize beliefs such as, “I’m not good enough” or feel as if something is missing. As an adult, this can lead to challenges within relationships, such as intense anxiety, fear of abandonment, or avoiding a relationship all together.

The good news is that it is never too late to heal from attachment wounds. Developing a trusting, safe, and supportive relationship with a therapist can help you heal from attachment wounds and develop more security within your relationships.